Chapter 8 [The days of growing up with my daughter]

Source: https://www.facebook.com/794648900700097/posts/2167453066753000/?d=n

[James’ Origin and Today] Chapter 8 - Growing up with my daughter (03/19/2022)

Back to the United States to spend time with my daughter

When I first returned to the United States, I started preparing breakfast for my daughter every day. I really didn’t know what my daughter would eat for breakfast, so I first prepared porridge, sandwiches, omelets, and various other breakfasts, like a buffet breakfast, to see which one she liked. My daughter didn't express any opinions at first. Later, I found that she ate very little in the morning, so I gradually changed it to sandwiches or simple cereal. A few years later, my daughter told me that I had just returned to the United States and helped her prepare breakfast. She was a little unhappy because she found out that when my father came home, I had to eat breakfast (it turned out that when I was away, I had no time to eat breakfast every morning while catching up on school). This is really a big misunderstanding, so between people, it's not that you want to do more for the other person, or that the other person likes it, but it's more that you don't do what he needs. Therefore, everything still requires communication. You don’t just keep doing it with your head covered if you think it is right.

One day, I picked my daughter up from school at around two o'clock in the afternoon and asked her, "What do you want to eat and where do you want to eat?" She told me that she wanted to eat ice cream, so I took her to an ice cream shop near my home. We each bought two pieces of ice cream. The father and daughter just walked and ate the ice cream on the road with great enjoyment. They really felt very happy at that time. So in fact, happiness can be very simple. Just relax and be with the one you love. This is the happiest thing in life.

During the days when I retired and accompanied my daughter, I picked her up from school every day. This was the time when our father-daughter relationship was closest. My daughter would tell me in the car what happened at school today, what lessons the teacher taught, and other nagging things. It was just like when I was a child, I would be next to my mother. I kept talking, and I didn’t know if my mother was listening, but I just kept talking, telling my thoughts and what happened at school. My mother was very busy at the time. She was a tailor, but I just wanted to tell my mother what I was thinking and share it with her.

Been a stroller driver for a week

I had just retired and returned to the United States with nothing to do. I picked up my daughter from the after-school tutoring class every day. Sometimes I chatted with the person in charge of the after-school tutoring class and learned that her mother in Taiwan had breast cancer. She wanted to return to Taiwan, but due to her work here, she couldn't let go and could not go back to Taiwan to accompany her mother. I volunteered to encourage her to return to Taiwan to be with her mother, and volunteered to help her pick up and drop off the child for a week so that she could return to Taiwan to be with her mother. This is what I did in the first month after retirement. I went from being a high-tech white-collar executive to a blue-collar driver immediately. My understanding of the class concept in society and my respect and attitude towards different professions are as clear as drinking water.

Because picking up children is a very complicated and delicate job. You have to drive to several schools on time to pick up the children you should pick up. Moreover, each school ends at different times, some at 2:50, some at 3:15, and some at 3:00. You have to plan to pick up the children along the way and pick up the right children at the right place in each school on time. One time, one of the children was unable to recite the Constitution of the United States, so the teacher kept him out of class until he could recite it. I waited for him on the roadside at first, but couldn't wait for the child. I had to get off the car and go to school to look for the child, only to find that he was left by the teacher to recite the Constitution. I had to wait anxiously because there were still three or four schools to pick up the children. As a result, the pick-up time for several children was later delayed, which also aroused other parents' doubts about whether the new driver was qualified!

Another thing happened. One time I went to pick up a pair of twins, who were relatively young, probably in the first grade of elementary school. When I went to pick up these two children, although the director of the after-school tutoring class had greeted them at the school, the teachers of the twins spoke to me with a contemptuous look that I had never felt before (I had just retired, and I was dressed as decently and neatly as I was at work, so their attitude towards me was definitely related to my work) and made sure that I would pick up the children on time in the future. The next day I arrived on time to pick up my children. When I got off the car from the parking lot and walked to school, the mother of the two twins came to me and told me to come and see the new driver. The teacher said that the new driver did not pick up the children on time (in fact, I always pick up the children on time. He said this should be an excuse, just to see if the driver can be trusted). Coming to see if the new driver would pick up her kids on time made me fully appreciate the distrust and scrutiny of blue-collar workers. This is the first month since I retired from a high-tech executive. The attitude of society towards me has dropped from heaven to hell, a 180-degree change, a kind of discrimination at work. I finally feel that this society is still a society with very obvious classes, and the same is true in civilized America.

Once, due to negligence, I forgot to pick up a child. When I drove back to the after-school tutoring school, the teacher inside came out and said that I had forgotten to pick up a child. When I rushed back, I found that there was no one in the school, so I walked into the school office. When I saw the child in the office, I greeted the teacher politely. The teacher told me with a very stern and contemptuous look that our school is not a kindergarten and don't make such mistakes in the future.

I stayed at Acer for 16 years, and I was respected and admired all the way. I found that my life and work at Acer for the past 16 years were in the white-collar world of society. When I left the white-collar job and switched to the blue-collar class, I found that this was a completely different world, a world full of discrimination, contempt and lack of dignity.

After this incident happened, even though it was just a week of driving experience, my perception of the entire society changed a lot. I made up my mind that in the future I will never have different attitudes or looks at others because of their occupation, skin color, gender, or age. And we should treat the blue-collar class with a noble look and attitude. They work so hard day and night to serve everyone, and are treated like this. This is intolerable and happens in a civilized world. However, this so-called civilized society still continues to have racial discrimination, sexism, class discrimination, professional discrimination, age discrimination, etc.; it makes me feel that all human beings still have a long way to go in learning.

The daughter discovers that her father is different from other people’s fathers

One day my daughter was riding in my car and suddenly asked me something, dad, how do you have money? Other dads have to work, why don't you? Where does your money come from? At this time, I knew the best opportunity to educate my daughter on investment and financial management concepts, so I started to tell him about dad’s investment in the U.S. stock market. It was like dad owning the best and largest companies in the United States. If these companies make money, they can be distributed to dad, and dad will have money. Just like when we go to Starbucks to drink coffee, Starbucks will make money, and Starbucks will share the money with us. This is investment. I don’t know if he understands it or not, but my daughter can actually say, Dad, if you go to Starbucks to drink coffee every day, then you drink it for free, because when you go to drink coffee, Starbucks makes money, and it will give you the money you make, and you can drink Starbucks coffee again without spending any money.

How to cultivate your daughter’s investment concept

My daughter's concept of investment and financial management has been cultivated since she was a child. When she was in elementary school, I gave her $10 a week (in fact, American children can't spend pocket money. School meals are stored value cards, swipe cards to eat, and there are no welfare societies. There are no shops on the way home). After that, I told her that if you don't use it up, you can put it in a money box, or save five yuan a week. No matter how much you save, your father will help you save the same amount. When my daughter first asked me when can I take out this money, I said wait a year (I remember she said "Wow" very loudly, and I couldn't see my money). After a year, there were more than 500 yuan in the money tube, so I suggested my daughter to deposit it in a bank. She was very nervous. She said that I would not be able to see my money after depositing it in the bank.

I said the bank would give you a deposit book, and then she reluctantly agreed, so I took her to the Bank of America to deposit money. The Bank of America could not give her a deposit book yet (U.S. banks usually do not have deposit books, and banks do not give deposit books to depositors). She saw the amount written on the deposit book and went home with doubts. After a few months, I showed her the bank statement every month. Suddenly one day she found out why the bank gave her so little interest. I said if you want to make more money, then we can get Charles Deposit and invest at Schwab Securities, so that your money will grow faster. From then on, your daughter's money will go into her investment account. Whether it is the annual New Year's money from grandparents or uncles, aunts and other relatives, they will be put here. In addition, what I usually give her every birthday and Christmas is not a gift.

现在女儿工作，她每年固定会存$19500美金到退休帐户（ROTH 401K ), I think this is enough, and she can spend the rest as she wants (she can still save a balance of 10,000 US dollars each year and deposit it into an investment account for investment), and she can save nearly 30,000 US dollars a year. Preparing for her retirement fund is no longer a problem (investing 30,000 US dollars in US index funds every year will have 7 million in 30 years.), this is a process of educating my daughter to invest. I would like to share with you that the sooner you start investment education, the better.