The Wisdom of Letting Go: Life, Relationships, and Investing Cannot Be Taught to Anyone

Article content: The wisdom of letting go — from a pocket camera to the practice of relationships and investing

https://open.spotify.com/episode/0hQ9zhWMd5QBHZhcootrhf?si=hzW9KSv6Q3umzypbxHlFhw

Hello everyone, welcome to episode two of CLEC James Talks. I am James.

I recently picked up an action camera. I did not actually buy it for extreme sports; mainly I wanted to record life while traveling, at gatherings with friends, or at family meals. The greatest advantage of this kind of device is stabilization and anti-shake: whether you are on a train, in a car, or on a boat, you can casually record the scenery or the road along the way and the picture stays quite steady.

It also has subject tracking, excellent low-light sensitivity, and can even rotate the lens 270 degrees by manual remote control, or shoot 3D photos. Say you are at a very large dining table or in a corner: put it in the middle and let it rotate as it records, and it will capture the whole setting and everyone's interactions completely.

There are two main popular options for this kind of product on the market lately: DJI's Pocket 4P and Insta360's Luna Ultra. I studied a lot of YouTuber reviews and found that each has its own strengths. In the end I chose the model with a detachable screen, and I found that it not only works as a remote control but can also pair with a phone app for cross-screen operation and control. After trying it out these past few days, the experience really has been rather good.

Still, equipment is ultimately only a tool for recording life. Today I want to talk with you in depth about two issues that are far more central in life: the philosophy of dealing with the world at work and in relationships.

1. Home Is Not a Place for Arguing Who Is Right; It Is a Place for Nurturing Love

Lately I keep hearing friends around me mention how hard they or their partners are working at their jobs. Even when they already feel exhausted in body and mind and do not want to go to work, they still have to bear enormous pressure and trials out in the world for the sake of the family's finances. At the same time, friction often arises between husband and wife because of it.

Whether it is a setback at work, being pushed down by a supervisor, or a quarrel between partners, the same core problem often lies behind it.

When we were young we were all the same: a small quarrel every day and a big one every three days. Back then we always felt that every matter had to be reasoned out, that we had to settle who was right and who was wrong. Some men have quicker tempers and even feel their partner is being unreasonable. But everyone should understand this: home is not a place for arguing who is right, home is a place for love and harmony.

In family relationships, the last thing you need is to fight over right and wrong. I often encourage people to think this way in front of family: "I was wrong, and you were right."

Someone might ask, "Teacher, does that not mean showing weakness? We have already been giving each other the cold shoulder for days. How am I supposed to face them when I go home now?"

It is actually very simple. Facing your partner, say sincerely, "I am sorry, it was my fault." This is not weakness. As the saying goes, "the highest good is like water": water looks like the softest thing of all, yet it can seep into every crack and hold all things, and for that reason it is also the strongest force.

A person's worth never needs anyone else's judgment to define it. The ancients said, "having no desires makes you strong." When you can accept the other person, understand them, and even feel compassion for their limitations, that is when you are the one who is truly strong inside. Even if the other person really is wrong, you do not need to rush to correct them, because everyone has their own practice and their own lessons, which they have to realize and learn for themselves.

2. Understanding Requires a "Chemical Reaction"; Neither Investing nor Life Can Be Forced

It is not only in how husband and wife get along; the same principle applies in investing and in one's philosophy of life.

Sometimes our view of something gets revised, often because we have taken in a different perspective. But that kind of change absolutely does not come from "being taught by someone else." Once a new piece of information enters your mind, it needs time to produce a "chemical reaction" inside your understanding; after a while, a new awareness naturally arises and you adjust your behavior of your own accord.

Take the investing strategy we have discussed (for example QQQI):

Originally we assessed setting aside 10 years of annual expenses, calculating cash flow from a 10% annualized distribution;

Later many friends pointed out that if the market falls sharply, the dividend could shrink. Although we had built in a margin of safety from the start, to be even more robust we can adjust the budget basis to 12 years of annual expenses and run an extreme stress test at a more conservative 8% yield.

Suppose you need 100,000 a year to live on. Using 12 times that (1.2 million) as the basis, even in the extreme case where the market is depressed and the distribution falls to 8%, it would still generate about 96,000 of cash flow, enough to live on; and when the market is high and the distribution reaches 13%, you could even receive 150,000. The surplus can then be put back into long-term growth assets such as QQQ or 00662.

What this process of revision shows is that a person can only truly learn and grow through their own awareness and self-observation.

Conclusion: A Life That Cannot Be Taught Can Only Be Experienced for Yourself

Many kinds of hard knowledge in life — programming languages, mathematics, or how to convert a YouTube video into an MP3 and put it on a USB drive for an elderly relative to listen to, or how to set up an RSS feed for Spotify and podcasts — these operational skills and pieces of knowledge can be passed on and taught.

But the philosophy of life and the mindset of investing cannot be completed through "teaching."

It is like the wisdom of Laozi and Zhuangzi: however clearly the books set it out, without living through it and realizing it ourselves we still cannot truly understand. Whether with children, partners, or elders, forcing ideas on people usually only brings resistance.

Giving space, staying accepting, accompanying the other person and allowing them to grow through practice: this is perhaps the wisdom we most need to cultivate in life and in investing.